I see a man looking most grave and sensible,
Day after day, and oftener than the day,
With something ugly sticking from his mouth,
A little, crooked, perforated tube,
Six inches long, black and repulsive-looking,
And having a protuberance at the end,
From which a curling quackling fume arises,
Indicative of latent fire within.
He sucks the sombre perforated tube,
And draws into his mouth the nauseous fume,
Fed by combustion of a foreign weed,
And puffs it slowly out into the air;
Perhaps he watches its return to nothing,
And finds a moral in its evanescence;
And this to this grave man is happiness!
More precious to him than his daily food!
But adding something to his natural thirst,
And leading him direct to drinking-habits!
Thus he imbibes a deleterious poison;—
If he should swallow it, it poisons him,
And if he spits it out, the waste of spittle
Spoils his digestive powers, and slowly kills him;
While wise and thoughtful men act so unwisely
No wonder boys, that would be men, do likewise,
Although it makes them puke and have the headache:—
One comfort is, the tax upon tobacco
Fills nicely full the coffers of the state,
And wise it seems that fools should pay the taxes,
If the majority of men are fools.
30 Eylül 2012 Pazar
Tobacco
To contact us Click HERE
James Hurnard (1808-1881), The Setting Sun, 3rd ed. (London: Saml. Harris & Co., 1878), p. 88; rpt. in James Hurnard: A Victorian Character. Being Passages from The Setting Sun. Selected and Arranged by G. Rostrevor Hamilton (Cambridge: At the University Press, 1946), pp. 92-93:
After the Death of a Bachelor
To contact us Click HERE
James Hurnard (1808-1881), The Setting Sun, 3rd ed. (London: Saml. Harris & Co., 1878), pp. 59-60; rpt. in James Hurnard: A Victorian Character. Being Passages from The Setting Sun. Selected and Arranged by G. Rostrevor Hamilton (Cambridge: At the University Press, 1946), pp. 23-24:
To die, and have an end of all one's troubles,
And find admittance to a better world,
May soothe the pillow of a sinking man;
But to have eager, prying relatives
Ransack out all one's precious drawers and boxes,
Read one's most valued, sacred, secret letters,
Laugh at one's little tear be-sprinkled keepsakes,
Disarrange all one's chosen books and papers,
And have one's treasures cast aside as rubbish;
To have one's old apartments desecrated
By an unfeeling, prying auction-crowd—
To have a flippant, callous auctioneer
Make jokes upon one's dear familiar chairs,
Selling one's loved inanimate old friends,
The furniture that we have used from childhood,
Fondly associated with our daily life;
To have one's very garments chaffered for,
By our relations, with a clothes'-dealer—
This seems to me one of the saddest pictures
A poor old dying bachelor can ponder.
Computer translation of 'Ships with Butterfly Wings'
To contact us Click HERE
Une larme tombe pour le sableVagues et vent soupirent en deuilAu-dessus de la mer dans un pays lointainJusqu'à l'horizon, puis une pauseEt puis il est partiLa chaleur du soleil n'a jamais cesséCris plaintif de goélands sans causeEspoir, desesperee, ne s'arrête jamais de chanterClignotant dans l'éblouissement, elle attendLe résultat doit avoir une causeLorsque les navires avec papillon ailesBat dans le vent sur une quête fineAmants déchirés pendant un certain tempsPersonne ne peut dire le pourquoi de ces chosesLes liaisons ont été libérés Chacun est libre d'être leur propreC'est une graine qui doit être seméeEt personne ne peut dire à son destinParfois, il n'y a aucun moyen de gagnerMais seulement à endurer.Lorsque les navires avec papillon ailesCoups dans le ventTransporter votre cœur à travers l'océanC'est tout que vous pouvez faire, parfoisD'attendre et de présenter un grief et à prier.
Art for art's sake.
To contact us Click HERE

As a boy, I wanted to be a great painter.
Even now canvases like Monet’s “Water Lilies,” impress my soul although there’s not much clarity. I can even paint – I have sketches like old naval victories, paintings in the style of Picasso or Cezanne, Thompson, although Rembrandt’s detailed soul-analysis is a stretch. It’s not even that hard. Not really.
Where is the market? I mean, why bother?
Art teachers, jealous as they were, always assumed I was some kind of expert, a “ringer” who just showed up to show off and make fun of the untalented but sincere persons who take lessons and pay the bills.
They were right. Like the guy who can really play the drums, but makes a living selling shoes – not enough courage to get out there in the trenches, or get one’s head stomped in by critics and fans alike. I figure in order to succeed, i.e. make money, one would have to grab the world’s attention and hold it long enough for someone important to decide you are “in fashion” as a painter. That you are “marketable,” and “collectible” and “in vogue.” Like as in “Good Investment.” Maybe I was just too lazy to do it—to put the time into learning the craft.
Hey! If I was to get some frames, and stretch huge expanses of white cotton over them. Rent the Public Library andArt Gallery – how much could it cost? Bolt or screw them up on the walls, put paint in pots on tables, or on the floor in buckets. O.K. I know what you’re thinking. “It’s already been done! Lots of artists have public participation in their painting projects, and the Old Masters had half of their work done by apprentices…and so called installation art consisting of neat rows of bricks, toilet seats, or even buckets of paint on a table is old hat.”
Yeah, you’re right. But then…you always are. (I’ve never heard you ask a question, or even express an opinion. You know everything.) It is abstract, and expressionistic, and therefore derivative. It’s even nihilistic, and therefore anti-Canadian.
The very first guy that walks in there and says, “Bleep! Any bleep-bleep could do that!” I’m going to grab him by the scruff of the neck, dip his head in the paint pot and bounce the mouthy bleep off the bleeping walls for a while.
It may not be entirely original. One heck of a piece of performance art, eh?
“I couldn’t do it without your help.” Eventually we’ll get this work of art finished.
I may even be able to sell a couple of them. But that’s not really important right now.
Try to think of it as “art for art’s sake,” and you have to admit; the medium of performance art has really been lacking in some essential quality lately. You know – like violence? Think of it as a great naval victory without the water; ships and smoke and stuff.
From quiet contemplation comes chaos.

As a boy, I wanted to be a great painter.
Even now canvases like Monet’s “Water Lilies,” impress my soul although there’s not much clarity. I can even paint – I have sketches like old naval victories, paintings in the style of Picasso or Cezanne, Thompson, although Rembrandt’s detailed soul-analysis is a stretch. It’s not even that hard. Not really.
Where is the market? I mean, why bother?
Art teachers, jealous as they were, always assumed I was some kind of expert, a “ringer” who just showed up to show off and make fun of the untalented but sincere persons who take lessons and pay the bills.
They were right. Like the guy who can really play the drums, but makes a living selling shoes – not enough courage to get out there in the trenches, or get one’s head stomped in by critics and fans alike. I figure in order to succeed, i.e. make money, one would have to grab the world’s attention and hold it long enough for someone important to decide you are “in fashion” as a painter. That you are “marketable,” and “collectible” and “in vogue.” Like as in “Good Investment.” Maybe I was just too lazy to do it—to put the time into learning the craft.
Hey! If I was to get some frames, and stretch huge expanses of white cotton over them. Rent the Public Library and
Yeah, you’re right. But then…you always are. (I’ve never heard you ask a question, or even express an opinion. You know everything.) It is abstract, and expressionistic, and therefore derivative. It’s even nihilistic, and therefore anti-Canadian.
The very first guy that walks in there and says, “Bleep! Any bleep-bleep could do that!” I’m going to grab him by the scruff of the neck, dip his head in the paint pot and bounce the mouthy bleep off the bleeping walls for a while.
It may not be entirely original. One heck of a piece of performance art, eh?
“I couldn’t do it without your help.” Eventually we’ll get this work of art finished.
I may even be able to sell a couple of them. But that’s not really important right now.
Try to think of it as “art for art’s sake,” and you have to admit; the medium of performance art has really been lacking in some essential quality lately. You know – like violence? Think of it as a great naval victory without the water; ships and smoke and stuff.
From quiet contemplation comes chaos.
Coming November 1. 'The Art of Murder.'
To contact us Click HERE
Marketing image for my new mystery novel, 'The Art of Murder,' which will be published November 1/2012.
I would love a critique, an impression, a scathing commentary, a few words on a related subject,* for someone to go off on a tangent, or even a few unsolicited compliments on this, my first attempt at a marketing image.
Ahem. That bein' said, (and I'm just sayin',) please tell me all about how bad covers don't sell good books, and all that short-story long crap.
Hello to all of you in Russia. Russia is a great country, and I hope you all learn English very, very soon, so that you all can read a whole bunch of my books. Spacebo comrades.
More on this later.
Thank you very much and good day. Oh, and I promise to put the skull back in the ROM tomorrow before Curly the minimum-wage unarmed security guard wakes up just in time to go home.) -louis
P.S. Yes I know my signature begins with a lower case letter. It's like a little peccadillo.
*But I ain't going to get it, am I?
This is the end of this post. Stop reading it.
I would love a critique, an impression, a scathing commentary, a few words on a related subject,* for someone to go off on a tangent, or even a few unsolicited compliments on this, my first attempt at a marketing image.
Ahem. That bein' said, (and I'm just sayin',) please tell me all about how bad covers don't sell good books, and all that short-story long crap.
Hello to all of you in Russia. Russia is a great country, and I hope you all learn English very, very soon, so that you all can read a whole bunch of my books. Spacebo comrades.
Thank you very much and good day. Oh, and I promise to put the skull back in the ROM tomorrow before Curly the minimum-wage unarmed security guard wakes up just in time to go home.) -louis
P.S. Yes I know my signature begins with a lower case letter. It's like a little peccadillo.
*But I ain't going to get it, am I?
This is the end of this post. Stop reading it.
29 Eylül 2012 Cumartesi
Coming November 1. 'The Art of Murder.'
To contact us Click HERE
Marketing image for my new mystery novel, 'The Art of Murder,' which will be published November 1/2012.
I would love a critique, an impression, a scathing commentary, a few words on a related subject,* for someone to go off on a tangent, or even a few unsolicited compliments on this, my first attempt at a marketing image.
Ahem. That bein' said, (and I'm just sayin',) please tell me all about how bad covers don't sell good books, and all that short-story long crap.
Hello to all of you in Russia. Russia is a great country, and I hope you all learn English very, very soon, so that you all can read a whole bunch of my books. Spacebo comrades.
More on this later.
Thank you very much and good day. Oh, and I promise to put the skull back in the ROM tomorrow before Curly the minimum-wage unarmed security guard wakes up just in time to go home.) -louis
P.S. Yes I know my signature begins with a lower case letter. It's like a little peccadillo.
*But I ain't going to get it, am I?
This is the end of this post. Stop reading it.
I would love a critique, an impression, a scathing commentary, a few words on a related subject,* for someone to go off on a tangent, or even a few unsolicited compliments on this, my first attempt at a marketing image.
Ahem. That bein' said, (and I'm just sayin',) please tell me all about how bad covers don't sell good books, and all that short-story long crap.
Hello to all of you in Russia. Russia is a great country, and I hope you all learn English very, very soon, so that you all can read a whole bunch of my books. Spacebo comrades.
Thank you very much and good day. Oh, and I promise to put the skull back in the ROM tomorrow before Curly the minimum-wage unarmed security guard wakes up just in time to go home.) -louis
P.S. Yes I know my signature begins with a lower case letter. It's like a little peccadillo.
*But I ain't going to get it, am I?
This is the end of this post. Stop reading it.
Lame Ducks and Canards
To contact us Click HERE
R.A. Stewart Macalister (1870-1950), The Secret Languages of Ireland (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1937), p. 73:
Many years ago, in destroying an accumulation of old papers, I came across a note which I had taken down at school from the dictation of a preceptor, and at the time presumably believed, to the effect that the Greeks called the people of the outer world 'Barbarians' because they wore beards: and I well remember how the same simple soul, peace to his innocent ashes, once told me that the authority for some other unjustifiable dogma, which he had propounded, was to be discovered 'in a book in the British Museum'—a reference which I have never yet found time to verify. If a duck so very lame could be entrusted with the task of imparting instruction in a school of the last quarter of the nineteenth century, why should not similar portents have been possible in the sixth?Or in the twenty-first. See the farrago of nonsense about the origin of the word barbarian in a supposedly authoritative source—Robert Hendrickson, QPB Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins, 2nd edition (New York: Facts on File, 2004), p. 53:
Barba means "beard" in Latin, and when the Romans called hirsute foreigners barbarians they were strictly calling them "bearded men," though the word shortly came to mean, rightly or wrongly, "rude, uncivilized people." A barber was, of course, one who cut beards or hair. The barber pole outside barber shops today has its origins in the ancient barber's duties as a surgeon and dentist as well as a hair cutter. It was first the symbol of these professions—a blood-smeared white rag. However, barbarian may have Greek origins.The derivation of barbarian from Latin barba is bogus, a folk etymology. The word barbarian is indubitably (not just possibly) Greek in origin. It has no connection with beards.
A Monster Bookcase
To contact us Click HERE
A friend gave me a copy of James Hurnard: A Victorian Character. Being Passages from The Setting Sun. Selected and Arranged by G. Rostrevor Hamilton (Cambridge: At the University Press, 1946). No one would call Hurnard (1808-1881) a great poet; at his best, as early reviewers noted, he reminds one of Cowper or Crabbe. But he is a personality of considerable charm, and the book is a gem. I will be posting excerpts from it in days to come. Here is the first installment, from Hamilton, pp. 33-34, with some lines added by me at the end from the 3rd edition of The Setting Sun (London: Saml. Harris & Co., 1878), pp. 119-120:
One thing I long had set my heart upon,Related posts:
And had determined staunchly to possess
Whenever I obtained a settled home.
This shadowy object of my aspirations
Was nothing other than a monster bookcase,
With folding doors of glass, to hold my treasures:
For I had been affected from my youth
With a propensity to purchase books—
Cheap if I could; if not, at any price—
And I had many now to store away.
At length I found the object of my wishes;
A noble bookcase, worth a kingly ransom.
At first Louisa entered gentle protest
Against so large a piece of furniture.
She fancied it would spoil our dining-room;
She had not seen it, and she feared the worst;
Imagination magnified the evil;
But soon she yielded when she saw how strongly
My heart was set upon my noble purchase.
Polished anew and slendered to my wishes,
When fitted to its place she gazed upon it
With admiration equal to my own.
Thus do we please each other and are pleased;
And I have filled it with my dear old books,
Companions of my solitary years.
Right glad am I to see their shining ranks.
My books are my especial worthy friends,
That never take offence if they are slighted.
The best of friends are seldom always pleased;
A random speech, or unintentioned act,
Will sometimes wound the sensibilities
Even of kindred hearts and gentle natures.
But who can quarrel with a favourite book?
Always when I have read a work that pleased me
I never am content till I possess it.
I like to have it near me to refer to;
It is to me a transcendental pleasure,
After the lapse of half a century,
To read a book familiar to my boyhood,
But never re-perused since those bright days.
It seems to bring one's childhood back again,
And give once more the feelings of my youth,
Reviving faded pictures of the mind
With all the freshness of old favourite scenes.
Lonely in life, secretive in my habits,
Living unknown to my contemporaries,
I have not had my intellect refreshed
By sweet colloquial contact with great minds.
My books have been my principal companions;
Reading has been my chief delight of life:
Thus have I communed with the mighty dead
Until my soul was knit to theirs in love;
Not without hope that in the life to come
We might converse as kindred spirits may.
- A Rational Collocation of Authors
- Inscription for a Bookcase
- A Farmer's Bookshelf
- The Contents of Richard Mutimer's Bookcase
- Room for Books
Galbungus and Co.
To contact us Click HERE
R.A. Stewart Macalister (1870-1950), The Secret Languages of Ireland (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1937), pp. 84-85 (on the works of Virgilius Maro Grammaticus):
The unknown writer, good easy man, did his best to make the absurd world realize that he was in jest. Like Socrates and his symposiasts in Plato's dialogues; like Mr Spectator with his Club; like Schumann with his portentous Davidsbündler; like Mrs Gamp with Mrs Harris and her family; like the excellent Sir Arthur Helps; he surrounded himself with an imaginary company of 'friends in council', whom we are to suppose working in harmony with him. To one of these airy fictions he gave the name 'Galbungus', which alone ought to have been enough to make the fortune of a humorist. These sages, it appears, had written marvellous books, the titles of which read like excerpts from the Academy Library Catalogue of Laputa: but not one of which has left the smallest trace behind, outside the casual references which our author makes to them. In the passage most frequently quoted, he shews us Galbungus and another colleague, Terrentianus [sic, read Terrentius], disputing day and night for a fortnight on the question whether the pronoun ego can have a vocative case. He affects a Latinity—or as he himself says, twelve different kinds of Latinity—never seen before on the earth, with all manner of spurious words and unheard-of grammatical forms. He discusses prosody, filling his illustrations with absurd false quantities. He teaches his readers how to make cryptograms which no human being could ever decipher, even though he knew the principle upon which they were constructed. He commends Cicero—another of his imaginary friends, not the orator—for inventing abbreviations equally impossible to comprehend. But to enumerate all his antics would involve a translation of the whole book.For a translation of the dispute on the vocative of ego, see Vivien Law, Wisdom, Authority and Grammar in the Seventh Century: Decoding Virgilius Maro Grammaticus (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1995), pp. 109-111.
It ought to have been obvious that the book is a parody, seasoned with bitterness. Galbungus and Co. are of one stuff with the Trissotins who haunt the salons of Les Femmes Savantes: indeed, the world lost much when Molière, who alone could have done it justice, passed from its ken without ever having had his attention drawn to the dispute upon the vocative of ego, and its dramatic possibilities. Like the schoolmen, 'Maro's' friends make their appeals to shaky 'authorities'. But, his joke missed fire: in vain did he call his fantastic phraseology 'pleasantries' (leporia): he shared the fate of Swift, to whom we have compared him. Swift wrote an appalling description of the travels of one Gulliver, whereby he sought to express his hatred of the world in which he found himself. The world took the book, tore out a few of the more lurid pages, and light-heartedly placed the incoherent remainder upon its nursery bookshelves, side by side with the whimsies of the blameless Lewis Carroll. The old scholar of the seventh century wrote a burlesque on the literary fads of his time. The world blinked owlishly over it—and solemnly accepted it as a serious textbook!
George Washington and the Cherry Tree
To contact us Click HERE
The biography of George Washington by Mason Locke Weems (1758-1825), also known as Parson Weems, went through many editions in the author's lifetime, and has often been reprinted since. According to Walter B. Norris, in a letter to the editor of The Nation, Vol. 94, No. 2435 (February 29, 1912) 207-208 (at 208), the story of the cherry tree first appeared in the fifth edition, published in Augusta, Georgia, in 1806.
That edition is unavailable to me, but here is the story from M.L. Weems, The Life of George Washington; With Curious Anecdotes, Equally Honourable to Himself, and Exemplary to His Young Countrymen (Philadephia: J.B. Lippincott & Co., 1858), pp. 15-16:
The first artistic representation of the cherry tree story is on the kerchief mentioned earlier:

In 1867 John C. McRae made and put on sale the following engraving:

The McRae engraving is said to be "after a painting by G.G. White," i.e. George Gorgas White (died 1898). I don't know if White's painting survives.
Grant Wood (1891-1942) painted Parson Weem's Fable, now in the Amon Carter Museum, Fort Worth:

That edition is unavailable to me, but here is the story from M.L. Weems, The Life of George Washington; With Curious Anecdotes, Equally Honourable to Himself, and Exemplary to His Young Countrymen (Philadephia: J.B. Lippincott & Co., 1858), pp. 15-16:
The following anecdote is a case in point. It is too valuable to be lost, and too true to be doubted; for it was communicated to me by the same excellent lady to whom I am indebted for the last.The story quickly became popular. A kerchief was manufactured with a metrical version in rhyming couplets (New-York Historical Society, object number 1941.117):
"When George," said she, "was about six years old, he was made the wealthy master of a hatchet! of which, like most little boys, he was immoderately fond, and was constantly going about chopping everything that came in his way. One day, in the garden, where he often amused himself hacking his mother's pea-sticks, he unluckily tried the edge of his hatchet on the body of a beautiful young English cherry-tree, which he barked so terribly, that I don't believe the tree ever got the better of it. The next morning the old gentleman, finding out what had befallen his tree, which, by the by, was a great favourite, came into the house; and with much warmth asked for the mischievous author, declaring at the same time, that he would not have taken five guineas for his tree. Nobody could tell him any thing about it. Presently George and his hatchet made their appearance. "George," said his father, "do you know who killed that beautiful little cherry tree yonder in the garden?" This was a tough question; and George staggered under it for a moment; but quickly recovered himself: and looking at his father, with the sweet face of youth brightened with the inexpressible charm of all-conquering truth, he bravely cried out, "I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell a lie. I did cut it with my hatchet."—Run to my arms, you dearest boy, cried his father in transports, run to my arms; glad am I, George, that you killed my tree; for you have paid me for it a thousand fold. Such an act of heroism in my son is more worth than a thousand trees, though blossomed with silver, and their fruits of purest gold."
The Love of TruthMost scholars who have studied the question agree that the tale of George Washington and the cherry tree, intended to teach the virtue of truthfulness, is itself a fabrication cooked up by the less than truthful Parson Weems. Norris wrote:
Mark the Boy
At six years old, George,* full of boyish tricks,
Would often please himself by chopping sticks.
A friend, who witnessed oft his fav'rite sport,
Once bought a hatchet of the smaller sort,
And made a present to the darling boy.
The welcome treasure filled his heart with joy:
With eager speed he hasted to the court,
Where faggot piles afforded harmless sport;
But wishing soon new fields of enterprize,
The high wall'd garden next the adventurer tries.
There, thoughtless running down the gravel walks,
The heads of flowers he sever'd from their stalks.
This error would not much have signified,
Had not the hatchet's keenest edge been tried
Upon a favorite tree. Oh! fatal touch!
It bore an English cherry, valued much.
Dearly 'twas purchased, newly planted there,
To thrive for many a distant livelong year.
George left, perhaps unconscious of the wound,
Or else for string to tie the pieces round.
Soon after this, his Father passing by,
The shiver'd trunk directly caught his eye.
Quick rose vexation and regret to see
The hopeless ruin of his fav'rite tree;
Back to the house with hasty steps he ran,
The gard'ner question'd asked each maid and man,
But could no tidings gain; all, all said, "No!"
And sad suspense was left awhile to grow.
Just then the little fellow met his sire:
"O!" he exclaim'd "It is my great desire
To find the person who hath killed the tree
That yonder stands: come down with me and see."
The weapon of the deed by George was borne;
The father's heart was now with anguish torn.
He felt affection, for he loved his child—
Dreaded to chide—of disposition mild.
The real culprit, now so very near,
One moment thought, but shew'd no sign of fear.
His little heart with principle beat high:
"Papa, I cannot, will not tell a lie!
My sharp, bright hatchet gave the naughty stroke."
The parent then with love and rapture spoke,
"Run to my open arms, my dearest boy;
Your love of truth bespeaks a father's joy;
My sudden anger and my grief are fled,
Although my lovely cherry-tree is dead."
*Afterwards the celebrated WASHINGTON.
There is no direct evidence in favor of the authenticity of these anecdotes. Weems, indeed, knew many intimate friends of Washington, but that he should have, as he says, kept the stories secret for twenty years is incredible. A better explanation has come to me from a grandson of Weems. who had it from his father. It is that the whole thing was suggested by a similar occurrence to Weems's eldest son, who was born in 1799. He cut down a Pride of China and confessed, but, sad to say, according to my informer, he received not blessings, but a sound thrashing.I don't know if anyone else has pointed it out, but there is a slight problem with the family tradition recounted by Parson Weem's grandson. "Pride of China" is a common name applied to species of the genus Koelreuteria, a type of tree from the Far East. Thomas Jefferson apparently was the first to grow Koelreuteria in the United States, from seed given to him by Madame de Tessé, as recorded in his garden book on October 6, 1809:
planted 14. Paulina Aurea, or Koelreuteria paniculata aurea in 2 boxes & a pot, to wit 4. in the pot, 4. in the large box, No 3.2 in the small one. No 2. recieved the seeds from Made de Tessé.See Thomas Jefferson's Garden Book, ed. Edwin Morris Betts (Philadelphia: The American Philosophical Society, 1944; rpt. Charlottesville: Thomas Jefferson Memorial Foundation, 1999), p. 387 and n. 25 on p. 398. If Koelreuteria didn't exist in the United States until 1809, then Parson Weem's son could not have cut down a Pride of China in or before 1806 (date of the fifth edition of Weem's biography of Washington, in which the cherry tree story first appears).
The first artistic representation of the cherry tree story is on the kerchief mentioned earlier:

In 1867 John C. McRae made and put on sale the following engraving:

The McRae engraving is said to be "after a painting by G.G. White," i.e. George Gorgas White (died 1898). I don't know if White's painting survives.
Grant Wood (1891-1942) painted Parson Weem's Fable, now in the Amon Carter Museum, Fort Worth:

28 Eylül 2012 Cuma
The Cancer of the Earth
To contact us Click HERE
Cioran (1911-1995), De l'inconvénient d'être né (Paris: Gallimard, 1973), p. 199:
Des arbres massacrés. Des maisons surgissent. Des gueules, des gueules partout. L'homme s'étend. L'homme est le cancer de la terre.Translation by Richard Howard, The Trouble With Being Born (New York: Seaver Books, 1976):
Trees are massacred, houses go up—faces, faces everywhere. Man is spreading. Man is the cancer of the earth.Cf. a letter from Gerd Heinrich to his son (Easter morning, 1975), quoted in Bernd Heinrich, The Snoring Bird: My Family's Journey Through a Century of Biology (New York: Ecco, 2007), p. 419:
Homo sapiens is certainly the greatest pest the earth has ever borne.
Human Nature Cannot Sink Much Lower
To contact us Click HERE
Russell Kirk (1918-1994), "When People Murder Trees," Ocala Star-Banner (September 1, 1964), p. 4:
José María Gironella (1917-2003), Los Cipreses Creen en Dios (Barcelona: Editorial Planeta, [1953]), was translated by Harriet De Onís as The Cypresses Believe in God (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1955; rpt. San Francisco: Ignatius, 2005). See pp. 467 ff. of the Ignatius edition on the burning of the trees.
On the Fortingall yew, see Robert Christison, "The Exact Measurement of Trees," Part 3: "The Yew Tree. The Fortingall Yew," Transactions and Proceedings of the Botanical Society [of Edinburgh] 13 (1879) 410-435, esp. pp. 426-427 (bracketed material in original):
Relevant excerpts from C.S. Lewis, That Hideous Strength, are in an earlier post: One Day We Shave the Planet.
Hat tip for Kirk's article: Daniel Orazio (via Karl Maurer).
Some people seem to hate trees with a diabolical passion.On the damage to the Endicott pear tree and the attempt to repair it, see "Vandals Slash Historic Tree," Boston Globe (July 28, 1964), p. 3, and George Taloumis, "Endicott Pear Tree Is Being Saved," Boston Globe (August 30, 1964), p. A-63.
In Danvers, Massachusetts, unknown vandals have hacked and sawed to pieces the oldest fruit tree in the United States; tree surgeons are endeavoring, by extraordinary measures, to save the remnant of it.
The Danvers pear tree was planted in 1639 by John Endicott, Governor of Massachusetts Bay, and had borne fruit ever since. This barbarous act was the activity of a whole crew of depredators, working with some system. What manner of man hates historic living things?
In Gironella's novel of the Spanish Civil War, The Cypresses Believe in God, members of the Anarchist Party of Gerona deliberately set fire to the ancient cypresses of the countryside in that dry land—to demonstrate their subversive power, and because they seem to hate trees as a symbol of vitality and continuity. Human nature cannot sink much lower.
In England there is a sporadic campaign against hedgerows, by strange people who would like to see the English countryside treeless, apparently. The small trees of the hedgerows are among the chief charms of the English landscape, and shelter bird life.
This destruction of trees is nothing new, nevertheless. In the last century, boys virtually destroyed the oldest tree in Britain, the yew at Fortingall, Scotland, by burning bonfires in its hollow trunk. (It survives only in a mutilated and diminished state, in a venerable little churchyard.)
State and county highway departments sometimes are among the enemies of trees, ruthlessly chopping down maples and elms and oaks near the right-of-way, perhaps on the theory that one of these might some day fall across the pavement.
A few years ago, the Michigan legislature found it necessary to pass a resolution deploring this grim destruction of beauty.
In the days of my youth, the oldest man in town—still vigorous, though—used to spend his time chopping down trees, whenever anyone offered him the chance. My kinsfolk used to wonder if he resented the possibility of anything living longer than himself.
In the late C.S. Lewis' romance That Hideous Strength, one of the fell designs of the villains (committed, like their other offenses, in the name of Progress) is gradually to destroy all trees in the world, so that the earth will have what they consider a smooth, bald, bare beauty: they hate anything organic. In the end, it turns out that these "reformers" have been the unwitting servants of a supernatural diabolical power.
Around my old house, the tall elms stand dead this year, and I must have them taken down: the dread elm blight destroyed them this spring and summer. But I shall plant maples and oaks and pines and spruces in their stead. To plant a tree is an act of piety, I think—signifying that the order of creation is good, and that man is here to maintain and beautify it, not to deface.
So what manner of men is it that murders trees? I would that he were in a pine box. And I'd like to paddle the boys who—possibly in ignorance—deeply girdle the silver birch trees, so that they wither; and other rascals who wantonly snap off the growing points of saplings.
José María Gironella (1917-2003), Los Cipreses Creen en Dios (Barcelona: Editorial Planeta, [1953]), was translated by Harriet De Onís as The Cypresses Believe in God (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1955; rpt. San Francisco: Ignatius, 2005). See pp. 467 ff. of the Ignatius edition on the burning of the trees.
On the Fortingall yew, see Robert Christison, "The Exact Measurement of Trees," Part 3: "The Yew Tree. The Fortingall Yew," Transactions and Proceedings of the Botanical Society [of Edinburgh] 13 (1879) 410-435, esp. pp. 426-427 (bracketed material in original):
The late Mr Patrick Neill, who saw the tree in 1833, has given a precise account, so far as he goes, of its condition at that time. It seems to have undergone lamentable destruction during the few years which had elapsed after the date of Strutt's drawing. Neill says large arms had been removed and even masses of the trunk carried off, to make drinking-cups and other curiosities. In consequence, "the remains of the trunk present the appearance of a semicircular wall, exclusive of traces of decayed wood which scarcely rises above ground. Great quantities of new spray have issued from the firmer parts of the trunk, and young branches spring up to the height perhaps of twenty feet. The side of the trunk now existing gives a diameter of more than fifteen feet; so that it is easy to conceive that the circumference of the bole, when entire, should have exceeded fifty feet. Happily further depredations have been prevented by means of an iron rail, which now surrounds the sacred object" ["Edin. New Phil. Journal," 1833, xv. 343, Note]."Strutt's drawing" can be found in Jacob George Strutt, Sylva Britannica; or, Portraits of Forest Trees, Distinguished for Their Antiquity, Magnitude, or Beauty (London: Published by the Author, [1826]), section Sylva Scotica, between pp. 148-149.
The Reverend Robert Macdonald, the last minister of the parish of Fortingall, in the "Second Statistical Account of Scotland," confirms in 1838 the notice of Neill, and adds some historical information bearing directly upon the question of the antiquity of the tree. I had expected important information in the elaborate "First Statistical Account," collected under the auspices of Sir John Sinclair. But all there stated, after the mention of the yew is—"and a very remarkable tree it is" [ii. 456, 1792], Mr Macdonald, however, has been more communicative. He observes—"What remains of the celebrated yew-tree of Fortingall churchyard appears as two distinct trees, some yards distant from one another. At the commencement of my incumbency, thirty-two years ago (1806), there lived in the village of Kirktown a man of the name of Donald Robertson, then aged upwards of eighty years, who declared that, when a boy going to school, he could hardly enter between the two parts. Now a coach and four might pass between them; and the dilapidation was partly occasioned by the boys of the village kindling their fire of Baeltainn at its root. It is from 52 to 56 feet in circumference," ["Statist. Account of Scotland," x. 545, July 1838].
Relevant excerpts from C.S. Lewis, That Hideous Strength, are in an earlier post: One Day We Shave the Planet.
Hat tip for Kirk's article: Daniel Orazio (via Karl Maurer).
Computer translation of 'Ships with Butterfly Wings'
To contact us Click HERE
Une larme tombe pour le sableVagues et vent soupirent en deuilAu-dessus de la mer dans un pays lointainJusqu'à l'horizon, puis une pauseEt puis il est partiLa chaleur du soleil n'a jamais cesséCris plaintif de goélands sans causeEspoir, desesperee, ne s'arrête jamais de chanterClignotant dans l'éblouissement, elle attendLe résultat doit avoir une causeLorsque les navires avec papillon ailesBat dans le vent sur une quête fineAmants déchirés pendant un certain tempsPersonne ne peut dire le pourquoi de ces chosesLes liaisons ont été libérés Chacun est libre d'être leur propreC'est une graine qui doit être seméeEt personne ne peut dire à son destinParfois, il n'y a aucun moyen de gagnerMais seulement à endurer.Lorsque les navires avec papillon ailesCoups dans le ventTransporter votre cœur à travers l'océanC'est tout que vous pouvez faire, parfoisD'attendre et de présenter un grief et à prier.
Art for art's sake.
To contact us Click HERE

As a boy, I wanted to be a great painter.
Even now canvases like Monet’s “Water Lilies,” impress my soul although there’s not much clarity. I can even paint – I have sketches like old naval victories, paintings in the style of Picasso or Cezanne, Thompson, although Rembrandt’s detailed soul-analysis is a stretch. It’s not even that hard. Not really.
Where is the market? I mean, why bother?
Art teachers, jealous as they were, always assumed I was some kind of expert, a “ringer” who just showed up to show off and make fun of the untalented but sincere persons who take lessons and pay the bills.
They were right. Like the guy who can really play the drums, but makes a living selling shoes – not enough courage to get out there in the trenches, or get one’s head stomped in by critics and fans alike. I figure in order to succeed, i.e. make money, one would have to grab the world’s attention and hold it long enough for someone important to decide you are “in fashion” as a painter. That you are “marketable,” and “collectible” and “in vogue.” Like as in “Good Investment.” Maybe I was just too lazy to do it—to put the time into learning the craft.
Hey! If I was to get some frames, and stretch huge expanses of white cotton over them. Rent the Public Library andArt Gallery – how much could it cost? Bolt or screw them up on the walls, put paint in pots on tables, or on the floor in buckets. O.K. I know what you’re thinking. “It’s already been done! Lots of artists have public participation in their painting projects, and the Old Masters had half of their work done by apprentices…and so called installation art consisting of neat rows of bricks, toilet seats, or even buckets of paint on a table is old hat.”
Yeah, you’re right. But then…you always are. (I’ve never heard you ask a question, or even express an opinion. You know everything.) It is abstract, and expressionistic, and therefore derivative. It’s even nihilistic, and therefore anti-Canadian.
The very first guy that walks in there and says, “Bleep! Any bleep-bleep could do that!” I’m going to grab him by the scruff of the neck, dip his head in the paint pot and bounce the mouthy bleep off the bleeping walls for a while.
It may not be entirely original. One heck of a piece of performance art, eh?
“I couldn’t do it without your help.” Eventually we’ll get this work of art finished.
I may even be able to sell a couple of them. But that’s not really important right now.
Try to think of it as “art for art’s sake,” and you have to admit; the medium of performance art has really been lacking in some essential quality lately. You know – like violence? Think of it as a great naval victory without the water; ships and smoke and stuff.
From quiet contemplation comes chaos.

As a boy, I wanted to be a great painter.
Even now canvases like Monet’s “Water Lilies,” impress my soul although there’s not much clarity. I can even paint – I have sketches like old naval victories, paintings in the style of Picasso or Cezanne, Thompson, although Rembrandt’s detailed soul-analysis is a stretch. It’s not even that hard. Not really.
Where is the market? I mean, why bother?
Art teachers, jealous as they were, always assumed I was some kind of expert, a “ringer” who just showed up to show off and make fun of the untalented but sincere persons who take lessons and pay the bills.
They were right. Like the guy who can really play the drums, but makes a living selling shoes – not enough courage to get out there in the trenches, or get one’s head stomped in by critics and fans alike. I figure in order to succeed, i.e. make money, one would have to grab the world’s attention and hold it long enough for someone important to decide you are “in fashion” as a painter. That you are “marketable,” and “collectible” and “in vogue.” Like as in “Good Investment.” Maybe I was just too lazy to do it—to put the time into learning the craft.
Hey! If I was to get some frames, and stretch huge expanses of white cotton over them. Rent the Public Library and
Yeah, you’re right. But then…you always are. (I’ve never heard you ask a question, or even express an opinion. You know everything.) It is abstract, and expressionistic, and therefore derivative. It’s even nihilistic, and therefore anti-Canadian.
The very first guy that walks in there and says, “Bleep! Any bleep-bleep could do that!” I’m going to grab him by the scruff of the neck, dip his head in the paint pot and bounce the mouthy bleep off the bleeping walls for a while.
It may not be entirely original. One heck of a piece of performance art, eh?
“I couldn’t do it without your help.” Eventually we’ll get this work of art finished.
I may even be able to sell a couple of them. But that’s not really important right now.
Try to think of it as “art for art’s sake,” and you have to admit; the medium of performance art has really been lacking in some essential quality lately. You know – like violence? Think of it as a great naval victory without the water; ships and smoke and stuff.
From quiet contemplation comes chaos.
Coming November 1. 'The Art of Murder.'
To contact us Click HERE
Marketing image for my new mystery novel, 'The Art of Murder,' which will be published November 1/2012.
I would love a critique, an impression, a scathing commentary, a few words on a related subject,* for someone to go off on a tangent, or even a few unsolicited compliments on this, my first attempt at a marketing image.
Ahem. That bein' said, (and I'm just sayin',) please tell me all about how bad covers don't sell good books, and all that short-story long crap.
Hello to all of you in Russia. Russia is a great country, and I hope you all learn English very, very soon, so that you all can read a whole bunch of my books. Spacebo comrades.
More on this later.
Thank you very much and good day. Oh, and I promise to put the skull back in the ROM tomorrow before Curly the minimum-wage unarmed security guard wakes up just in time to go home.) -louis
P.S. Yes I know my signature begins with a lower case letter. It's like a little peccadillo.
*But I ain't going to get it, am I?
This is the end of this post. Stop reading it.
I would love a critique, an impression, a scathing commentary, a few words on a related subject,* for someone to go off on a tangent, or even a few unsolicited compliments on this, my first attempt at a marketing image.
Ahem. That bein' said, (and I'm just sayin',) please tell me all about how bad covers don't sell good books, and all that short-story long crap.
Hello to all of you in Russia. Russia is a great country, and I hope you all learn English very, very soon, so that you all can read a whole bunch of my books. Spacebo comrades.
Thank you very much and good day. Oh, and I promise to put the skull back in the ROM tomorrow before Curly the minimum-wage unarmed security guard wakes up just in time to go home.) -louis
P.S. Yes I know my signature begins with a lower case letter. It's like a little peccadillo.
*But I ain't going to get it, am I?
This is the end of this post. Stop reading it.
27 Eylül 2012 Perşembe
Totus in Illis
To contact us Click HERE
Francis Wayland, "Address [on Moses Stuart]," in Memorial of the Semi-Centennial Celebration of the Founding of the Theological Seminary at Andover (Andover: Warren F. Draper, 1859), pp. 156-165 (at 158):
His motto was totus in illis, and no man ever exemplified it more perfectly in every pursuit of his life. No matter whether the subject were great or small, if he thought upon it at all, it was with an absorbing interest. Connected with this were, instinctive exultation in success, and mortification at even the fear of failure. He could not be satisfied with anything that he had done, unless he had done it as well as he could. To fail, after he had done all in his power to secure success, troubled him, whether in his garden, on his farm, or in his study. I well remember that on one occasion he needed a little assistance in getting in his hay, and indicated to his class that he would be gratified if some of us would help him for an hour or two. There was, of course, a general turn out. The crop was a sorry one, and as I was raking near him, I intimated to him something of the kind. I shall never forget his reply. "Bah! was there ever climate and soil like this! Manure the land as much as you will, it all leaches through this gravel, and very soon not a trace of it can be seen. If you plant early, everything is liable to be cut off by the late frosts of spring. If you plant late, your crop is destroyed by the early frosts of autumn. If you escape these, the burning sun of summer scorches your crop, and it perishes by heat and drought. If none of these evils overtake you, clouds of insects eat up your crop, and what the caterpillar leaves the canker-worm devours." Spoken in his deliberate and solemn utterance, I could compare it to nothing but the maledictions of one of the old prophets. I trust that both the climate and soil of this hill of Zion have improved since I last raked hay here in Professor Stuart's meadow.The motto totus in illis comes from Horace, Satires 1.9.2. Here is the beginning of Horace's satire (tr. H. Rushton Fairclough):
I was strolling by chance along the Sacred Way, musing after my fashion on some trifle or other, and wholly intent thereon...The motto doesn't appear in Renzo Tosi, Dictionnaire des sentences latines et grecques, tr. Rebecca Lenoir (Grenoble: Jérôme Millon, 2010). Commentators compare Horace, Epistles 1.1.11: omnis in hoc sum.
Ibam forte via sacra, sicut meus est mos,
nescio quid meditans nugarum, totus in illis...
Line Item Billing
To contact us Click HERE
I'm not a lawyer, but I worked for a few years in a law office. Like the lawyers in the office, I had to keep track of the time I worked on various tasks, in six minute increments. Woe betide anyone in the office who didn't meet his quota of billable hours!
In the nineteenth century, James Hurnard (1808-1881) unleashed the following tirade against lawyers and line item billing, in book V, lines 862-975, of his poem The Setting Sun, 3rd ed. (London: Saml. Harris & Co., 1878), pp. 231-234, rpt. in James Hurnard: A Victorian Character. Being Passages from The Setting Sun. Selected and Arranged by G. Rostrevor Hamilton (Cambridge: At the University Press, 1946), pp. 93-97:
In the nineteenth century, James Hurnard (1808-1881) unleashed the following tirade against lawyers and line item billing, in book V, lines 862-975, of his poem The Setting Sun, 3rd ed. (London: Saml. Harris & Co., 1878), pp. 231-234, rpt. in James Hurnard: A Victorian Character. Being Passages from The Setting Sun. Selected and Arranged by G. Rostrevor Hamilton (Cambridge: At the University Press, 1946), pp. 93-97:
But least of all would I be bred a lawyer,This has all the earmarks of being a versification of an actual lawyer's bill.
Because I have a humble hope of heaven.
Let law alone, that sword which cuts both ways!
A lawyer, if a fool, is good for nothing;
And if a clever fellow he is worse;
The loftier his grade in the profession,
The more illimitable is his extortion;
The best of them are just the worst of them;
He may not knock you down and steal your money,
But he will surely worm it out of you.
He holds the key by which the law is opened;
If you want law you fain must go to him,
And he will soon unlock it with a vengeance,
And run you up a regular lawyer's bill.
For instance, if you simply buy a house,
He will take note of every interview,
And charge you for receiving your instructions,
Charge you likewise for drawing up the same,
Eight folio pages with a world of margin;
Charge you likewise for copying the same;
Charge you likewise for reading you the same,
And sending of it to the other party;
Charge you likewise for reading long reply
From London lawyer with a draft agreement;
Charge you likewise perusing of said draft,
Charge you likewise for copying the same,
Attending you, informing you thereof;
Charge you likewise transmitting draft agreement,
Along with letter, to the London lawyer.
Having received fair copy back for signature
Charge you for reading and examining same;
Charge you likewise attending you therewith,
Getting your signature and attesting same;
Charge you likewise attending London lawyer,
Exchanging forms of mutual agreement,
Instructing him to send abstract of title.
Having received the abstract of said title,
Charge you likewise perusing of the same;
Charge you likewise for making an appointment
With London lawyer to examine abstract,
And reading his reply, naming a day;
Charge you likewise for journey up to London;
Charge you likewise attending London lawyer,
Examining the abstract of the title,
Engaged four hours (making their little plant);
Charge you likewise for share of the expenses,
(Oysters and porter very probably);
Charge you likewise for making out fair copy
Of the said abstract after due correction,
And careful examination with the deeds;
Charge you likewise for drawing observations
Upon the aforesaid abstract of the title;
Charge you likewise fair copy of the same;
Charge you likewise transmitting of the same,
Along with letter, to the London lawyer.
Having received said observations back
From London lawyer, charge you for perusing
Answers thereto, informing you thereof:
(No doubt these answers from the London lawyer
Made out these observations were all humbug);
Charge you for the instructions for conveyance;
Charge you likewise for drawing the conveyance,
Just four and thirty folio pages full;
Charge you likewise attending upon counsel,
To settle same in legal conference.
Charge you again attending upon counsel,
Receiving of the same from him as settled;
Charge you the counsel's fees, also his clerks;
(All of them greedy crocodiles alike);
Next charge you for fair copy and perusal;
Charge you likewise transmitting the conveyance
To London lawyer to peruse the same,
With precious letter to him on the subject.
Having received conveyance back again,
Charge you perusing sundry alterations;
Charge you likewise engrossing said conveyance;
Charge you likewise for stamps and also parchments;
Charge you likewise examining the skin;
(No doubt to see if there were holes in it
Big enough for a lawyer to creep through:
A pin's point hole is amply large enough);
Charge you for sending same to London lawyer
To get him to attend upon the owner
To execute the deed, and pass the estate;
Charge you likewise writing to London lawyer
To make appointment to complete the business;
Also perusing letter in reply,
Attending and informing you thereof;
Charge you again for going up to London,
Attending London lawyer to complete,
Taking the deed, and giving receipt for same;
Charge you likewise for share of the expenses,
(The champagne dinner that they had together).
The title not complete without an extract
From Probate of a certain ancient will,
Charge you a journey to obtain the same;
Charge you likewise for copy of said extract;
Charge you likewise for drawing out a schedule
Of the old deeds to place with title writings;
Charge you likewise for paying London lawyer
For the agreement as agreed upon,
(No doubt this means they had agreed together
To bleed both parties to their hearts' content);
And charge you also for attending you,
Delivering up the precious deeds to you,
Taking receipt, and finally completing
This roundabout and complicated business,
And also handing you this little bill.
Computer translation of 'Ships with Butterfly Wings'
To contact us Click HERE
Une larme tombe pour le sableVagues et vent soupirent en deuilAu-dessus de la mer dans un pays lointainJusqu'à l'horizon, puis une pauseEt puis il est partiLa chaleur du soleil n'a jamais cesséCris plaintif de goélands sans causeEspoir, desesperee, ne s'arrête jamais de chanterClignotant dans l'éblouissement, elle attendLe résultat doit avoir une causeLorsque les navires avec papillon ailesBat dans le vent sur une quête fineAmants déchirés pendant un certain tempsPersonne ne peut dire le pourquoi de ces chosesLes liaisons ont été libérés Chacun est libre d'être leur propreC'est une graine qui doit être seméeEt personne ne peut dire à son destinParfois, il n'y a aucun moyen de gagnerMais seulement à endurer.Lorsque les navires avec papillon ailesCoups dans le ventTransporter votre cœur à travers l'océanC'est tout que vous pouvez faire, parfoisD'attendre et de présenter un grief et à prier.
Art for art's sake.
To contact us Click HERE

As a boy, I wanted to be a great painter.
Even now canvases like Monet’s “Water Lilies,” impress my soul although there’s not much clarity. I can even paint – I have sketches like old naval victories, paintings in the style of Picasso or Cezanne, Thompson, although Rembrandt’s detailed soul-analysis is a stretch. It’s not even that hard. Not really.
Where is the market? I mean, why bother?
Art teachers, jealous as they were, always assumed I was some kind of expert, a “ringer” who just showed up to show off and make fun of the untalented but sincere persons who take lessons and pay the bills.
They were right. Like the guy who can really play the drums, but makes a living selling shoes – not enough courage to get out there in the trenches, or get one’s head stomped in by critics and fans alike. I figure in order to succeed, i.e. make money, one would have to grab the world’s attention and hold it long enough for someone important to decide you are “in fashion” as a painter. That you are “marketable,” and “collectible” and “in vogue.” Like as in “Good Investment.” Maybe I was just too lazy to do it—to put the time into learning the craft.
Hey! If I was to get some frames, and stretch huge expanses of white cotton over them. Rent the Public Library andArt Gallery – how much could it cost? Bolt or screw them up on the walls, put paint in pots on tables, or on the floor in buckets. O.K. I know what you’re thinking. “It’s already been done! Lots of artists have public participation in their painting projects, and the Old Masters had half of their work done by apprentices…and so called installation art consisting of neat rows of bricks, toilet seats, or even buckets of paint on a table is old hat.”
Yeah, you’re right. But then…you always are. (I’ve never heard you ask a question, or even express an opinion. You know everything.) It is abstract, and expressionistic, and therefore derivative. It’s even nihilistic, and therefore anti-Canadian.
The very first guy that walks in there and says, “Bleep! Any bleep-bleep could do that!” I’m going to grab him by the scruff of the neck, dip his head in the paint pot and bounce the mouthy bleep off the bleeping walls for a while.
It may not be entirely original. One heck of a piece of performance art, eh?
“I couldn’t do it without your help.” Eventually we’ll get this work of art finished.
I may even be able to sell a couple of them. But that’s not really important right now.
Try to think of it as “art for art’s sake,” and you have to admit; the medium of performance art has really been lacking in some essential quality lately. You know – like violence? Think of it as a great naval victory without the water; ships and smoke and stuff.
From quiet contemplation comes chaos.

As a boy, I wanted to be a great painter.
Even now canvases like Monet’s “Water Lilies,” impress my soul although there’s not much clarity. I can even paint – I have sketches like old naval victories, paintings in the style of Picasso or Cezanne, Thompson, although Rembrandt’s detailed soul-analysis is a stretch. It’s not even that hard. Not really.
Where is the market? I mean, why bother?
Art teachers, jealous as they were, always assumed I was some kind of expert, a “ringer” who just showed up to show off and make fun of the untalented but sincere persons who take lessons and pay the bills.
They were right. Like the guy who can really play the drums, but makes a living selling shoes – not enough courage to get out there in the trenches, or get one’s head stomped in by critics and fans alike. I figure in order to succeed, i.e. make money, one would have to grab the world’s attention and hold it long enough for someone important to decide you are “in fashion” as a painter. That you are “marketable,” and “collectible” and “in vogue.” Like as in “Good Investment.” Maybe I was just too lazy to do it—to put the time into learning the craft.
Hey! If I was to get some frames, and stretch huge expanses of white cotton over them. Rent the Public Library and
Yeah, you’re right. But then…you always are. (I’ve never heard you ask a question, or even express an opinion. You know everything.) It is abstract, and expressionistic, and therefore derivative. It’s even nihilistic, and therefore anti-Canadian.
The very first guy that walks in there and says, “Bleep! Any bleep-bleep could do that!” I’m going to grab him by the scruff of the neck, dip his head in the paint pot and bounce the mouthy bleep off the bleeping walls for a while.
It may not be entirely original. One heck of a piece of performance art, eh?
“I couldn’t do it without your help.” Eventually we’ll get this work of art finished.
I may even be able to sell a couple of them. But that’s not really important right now.
Try to think of it as “art for art’s sake,” and you have to admit; the medium of performance art has really been lacking in some essential quality lately. You know – like violence? Think of it as a great naval victory without the water; ships and smoke and stuff.
From quiet contemplation comes chaos.
Coming November 1. 'The Art of Murder.'
To contact us Click HERE
Marketing image for my new mystery novel, 'The Art of Murder,' which will be published November 1/2012.
I would love a critique, an impression, a scathing commentary, a few words on a related subject,* for someone to go off on a tangent, or even a few unsolicited compliments on this, my first attempt at a marketing image.
Ahem. That bein' said, (and I'm just sayin',) please tell me all about how bad covers don't sell good books, and all that short-story long crap.
Hello to all of you in Russia. Russia is a great country, and I hope you all learn English very, very soon, so that you all can read a whole bunch of my books. Spacebo comrades.
More on this later.
Thank you very much and good day. Oh, and I promise to put the skull back in the ROM tomorrow before Curly the minimum-wage unarmed security guard wakes up just in time to go home.) -louis
P.S. Yes I know my signature begins with a lower case letter. It's like a little peccadillo.
*But I ain't going to get it, am I?
This is the end of this post. Stop reading it.
I would love a critique, an impression, a scathing commentary, a few words on a related subject,* for someone to go off on a tangent, or even a few unsolicited compliments on this, my first attempt at a marketing image.
Ahem. That bein' said, (and I'm just sayin',) please tell me all about how bad covers don't sell good books, and all that short-story long crap.
Hello to all of you in Russia. Russia is a great country, and I hope you all learn English very, very soon, so that you all can read a whole bunch of my books. Spacebo comrades.
Thank you very much and good day. Oh, and I promise to put the skull back in the ROM tomorrow before Curly the minimum-wage unarmed security guard wakes up just in time to go home.) -louis
P.S. Yes I know my signature begins with a lower case letter. It's like a little peccadillo.
*But I ain't going to get it, am I?
This is the end of this post. Stop reading it.
Kaydol:
Yorumlar (Atom)